12/11/08

So with my huge workload and imminent break up, I think its safe to say I've been feeling very low, and on the verge of jumping off a cliff, or as close to a cliff as you're ever gonna get in this dive of a town, the Wycombe Swan. Needless to say my life has been better, a general mix of confusion and self doubt, including self hate are a recipe most likely to give some form of poisoning, if I had to give it a name, it would be emotional salmonella.
However, there have been some perks, the visit from the mothership and younger sister, along with my mums live in boyfriend, who is favourable, I'm happy to say she's finally found her good apple :) They really perked up my weekend, I now cant wait to go home for Christmas.
Getting feedback on my creative writing brief (Dick Turpin's last ride, which can be found on my work blog) A- which I was utterly thrilled about, got some brilliant support and feedback from Lyndon. Cant wait to do my next writing brief.
And, of course, Portia and Steph, who are without a doubt, the most brilliant friends in the world. I love them more than tea. They took me on a trip to Windsor to cheer me up, we went shopping, well window shopping as we're all far to skint, and we had lunch and Ben&Jerrys. It was a brilliant day, they are amazing people, also the phantom finger was a real picker upper, quite literally in fact.
I know these two are going to be my best friends throughout my entire life, they are the salt of the earth, and I'd move worlds for them if it were possible.
I feel so utterly exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. A week in the Bahamas anyone?
I feel I cant hold on to the little things anymore, but I cant forget them, and all that's been running through my mind is how much I ache inside. I feel numb, which I'm sure is due to the heartbreak and not the temperature of my room, which even with the mini heater on, is still snowing in the north west corner.
Regardless though I am still determined, and I hope things will get easier, how long it will take I don't know, I'm not even going to fathom a guess, I'm just going to go to bed, and hope tomorrow is an easier day.